i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
