Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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