your thong is hanging out like whoa
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She needs sedatives and a leash
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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