is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
