Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
