um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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