it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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