Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
