White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
