Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize