i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How external is "for external use only"?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
