i think i have herpe
just one?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
