So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
