when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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