Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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