physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
