The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize