small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
