I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
