booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
