just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
