I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize