Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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