You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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