no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
