God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
