I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
