He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i barfeds in our rink
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
