But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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