she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
