Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize