The best revenge is premature balding
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
