yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
