Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
