A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize