Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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