were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
