You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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