i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize