He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
