Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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