Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
