There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you had me at cake vodka
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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