the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
