I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
