you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she smelled like a LAN party
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize