So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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