I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
