I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
