When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
