saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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