So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
