yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize