I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
