How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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