Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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