oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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