I skipped work to stalk him.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
