my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
