I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I will be naked everywhere
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
