the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
