HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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