Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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