I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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