Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Let's paint friendship bongs
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
