you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
