About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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