What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
