As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
